Gavin was here and he said:

Yep, the man, Mr. Gavin,  showed up with dad for the November discourse and had the following to say:
** You are looking good! (I love it when a man says those words to me! ūüôā haha…for whatever reason
**There is less of you to hug (I’m disappearing!)
** I think I can wrap my arms around you twice (Be My Guest!)
** I figure you’ve lost about 25 or 30 pounds (he forgot his scale but for 10 weeks, PDG!)…Pretty Damn Good…yes!
** You are going to have to buy some new clothes (since they are all getting baggy on me and I am tripping over the cuffs) – Uh, Gav, can you loan me your Amex card…since its your fault I have to buy new clothes!
** You are fading away to nothing (returning to the Light from whence we all came…etherically speaking I hope!)

Isn’t it nice to get positive feedback? Especially from your Fitness Counselor who is the greatest!!! So if you haven’t signed up for an appointment with Gavin to get your physical in alignment with your mental, emotional and spiritual…this is the year to do that! He will be here at Creacon over the Christmas season I am sure, and then there is always the next NLP Training in LA in January¬†between weekends! What a great way to start a New Year out…and this time it isn’t enrolling in a gym but enrolling in your life!

I started this program with the Intention and Motivation to help me be able to tread my Spiritual Path in a stronger way. All the books I read, and quotes from Derek and Sai Baba, talk about your body being in good condition¬†or it will pull you away from your spiritual path if it isn’t…and I was finding that to be the case for myself. When you are tired and your body is uncomfortable, guess what you are focusing on instead of your meditation, or your prayers, or anything you are doing to go within? Instead, you are feeling how uncomfortable you are, which¬†this leads to attachment to the body, and makes it harder to let go of the senses. The spiritual path is not a walk in the park so to speak, it takes commitment, discipline, focus – in other words what Derek taught us in the 2008 Bhagavad Gita teachings, Concentration, Contemplation and Meditation. We think that is all sitting down stuff but it’s not really, it is done every minute of every day in whatever you are doing. If our focus is more on how our back hurts, or how tired we are, or how fuzzy our mind is from an overload of food or caffeine or chocolate or carbs, then how can we REALLY Concentrate, Contemplate or Meditate? It is physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually impossible. I never realized how much food affected my behavior, how much it kept me brain dead, how many emotions it numbed up so I wouldn’t have to feel them. We don’t want to look at something, or feel something, or think about something and where do we go? The refrigerator, the cookie jar, out to dinner, to the movies, shopping, anywhere that will block our mind and the pain we feel. It takes courage to quit going there and allow all those emotions, feelings, thoughts¬†to come into you. I told Gavin, yes he gave me the tools, but I pat myself on the back for having the courage and commitment to myself to use them. I lost 100 pounds once before, in 2003,¬†it took 3 programs to keep me on the food program¬†then. I hadn’t gained all of that back but I had gained some. I made the excuse this time that I was too busy to walk, eat right, exercise…actually deal with it is more the truth. We can always find excuses why we are unimportant and everything else is more important. Why is that? Why are we last on the list of priorities? Usually because we look at losing weight for all the wrong reasons – look good for others, want others to love us more or better, want approval or recognition or attention from men, our spouse, our family, want to prove something to others or the world, etc., etc. The reasons are many and they are all the wrong reasons. Do it for the right reason, do it to feel God/ Spirit/ Higher Self/ Source within you stronger, to recognize yourself, to reconnect with the beauty of who you are, the Divine I Am within…YOU are DIVINE! We¬†ALL are though because we are all one, we are all aspects of Creator and we manifest more love in our life thru connecting with the truth of who we are…and that¬†IS the Truth that Will Set You Free.

So go within and set your Intent and your Commitment to you, so you can take the next step toward God, toward enlightenment, on your Spiritual Path…then see the new Fitness Wizard…our own Mr. Gavin O’Neill…I have never felt so good or so strong within myself. And even if you don’t have weight to lose, you might have heard that Jonathan at Creacon was¬†invited up by Derek as an example at the NLP class in NY for the muscles he’s put on – there are pics online of him, check them out.

You have to look at the fact that there is a reason for all of this coming together as it has – you know the Leprechaun we all fondly know as Derek O’Neill has something to do with all this…don’t you? haha…thank God for bringing us Derek and Creacon and Gavin to show us the way.¬†¬†Our teacher always leads us to the next step on our journey, this is a big step for most of us, letting go of our attachments around food as comfort and protection, instead of what it should be, nourishment for the body.

Come to Creacon for Christmas and make this a truly Magical Season for yourself…give yourself the gift of Derek and family, Creacon and your life all in one fell swoop.¬† We always make money or time or something the limiting belief why we can’t do something…especially for ourselves.¬† It takes courage to lay it all on the line and invest in you this Christmas…with the end of the Mayan Calendar it is the end of a millenium and the start of a new one!¬† Time for new beginnings for you, for the world, for us all.¬† I’m ready at last…are you?¬† Many Blessings!
Love Love Love
Sandra Grey Wolf
Call Creacon for an appointment with Gavin Р011-353-51-447-666 (or for reservations for December Wisdom chat, the Christmas Party, the Yagna Ceremony, and the special 12/21/12 Solstice Meditation with Derek)
See more about Derek O’Neill at
Find a Healer, or get the Bhagavad Teachings at:

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Truth makes you slimmer! And keeping your Eyes On Creator…

I lie to myself a lot, it is what has brought me the weight to begin with. I denied my rape, that was the first lie. I walked away from work I loved and said it didn’t bother me, that was the second lie. It took me many years to admit both of those statements were lies to myself. Denying the first was out of shame and a desperate need to keep the job I loved. The second lie I justified because I was lied to so many times and treated with disrespect which I allowed that it felt like walking away from my dream was standing up for myself to a company that bullied me. Could there have been another way to deal with it? Maybe, I’m not sure, I felt at the time it was the only option. It was a pattern in my life though to walk away from pain. I did not see how confronting it would have made any difference. I did try but felt no one listened even though I made many phone calls to reach my boss, there were no replies, no help, no reassurances, no compassion and no love. For a human potential development seminar organization built on the saying “world peace one mind at a time’, it made me doubt my work and my worth. We can’t control situations and people around us, we can only control our reaction to them. How do we know when our reaction is in our best interests truly? How do we know when we need to walk away and when we need to stand and fight? How do we know what is the lie and what is the truth in a situation? We are told follow our heart, only our mind clouds what our heart feels. If we become weary of the fight, that everything seems to be an uphill battle, when there is no one who listens and no help to guide us, our heart becomes shut down and the mind takes over…if I can’t feel it I will reason it out. We shut down on the pain and walk away – mentally or physically – either way we start lying to ourselves and saying it doesn’t matter. “I don’t care” used to be my mantra, now it is “It doesn’t matter”, when in fact I do care and it does matter…to me, if not to anyone else. I have this big war going on right now with my fitness program and where I have gone is into hiding from myself. It doesn’t matter that my food choices are limited to say the least. It doesn’t matter whether I exercise every day or not. It doesn’t matter whether I lose weight or not. It doesn’t matter that I have no support…that’s God’s job…haha back to my anger at God issues again? So bringing up the lies I told myself before, brings up the real issues behind the lies…abandonment, unlovable, attached to expectations. Interestingly enough I have always felt since I was a child that I would be supported, cared about, taken care of, and most of all loved…I came into this life with that notion. What didn’t come with me from my last life is that if we are always looking for this outside of ourselves, we are looking in the wrong place. It is not out there. It is only in here…in our hearts. God is the only one who can give us all of this, and God lives in our hearts. I know God has His arms around me, the problem is I can’t feel them, you know like you can feel a friends or a lover’s. It’s interesting because I was thinking about this the other day and trying to imagine God’s arms around me. I am not very good at that, I guess that’s why God sends us people in our lives…to be His arms, and His words. Also, we only get back what we put out, and it only comes when we need it not when we want it. Attachment to outcome, even when it’s God, won’t get me farther up the ladder. So the struggle within myself these last few weeks has been to become God in my life, to recognize I am the only one who can reassure myself I am loved and it isn’t outside but inside I need to look further and deeper to find it. No one cares, get over it. God cares, get into it. Time to tell myself the truth about everything, my weight, my body, my life. There is a thread missing here, it’s what difference does it make in the scheme of things? What difference do I make? That’s the underlying question, if it’s all God what difference does it make really what we do or don’t do, think or don’t think, believe or don’t believe? Is that why we are told to “Know Thyself”? I got some answers on the LA freeway one day several years ago, to a couple of life’s most important questions – What is the meaning of life? and What is the purpose of our existence? Luckily I was stuck in traffic so had time to write down the answers:
Question: What is the meaning of life? Answer: What meaning we give to it.
Question: What is the purpose of our existence? Answer: To give
Simple isn’t it? So when I am plagued with my mind searching for the meaning to all this, I just do the following: think of reaching God as the meaning, and to give by being of service. I have no other answers than that.
Many Blessings! Love Love Love, Sandra
For great insights and real truth go to:
For information on healing and More Truth workshops go to:
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Motivation is Intent, and intent is everything in the ceremony called life

I learned a valuable lesson these last two weeks about how I lose focus when I am working towards something. I have always said that our Intent is the most important thing to set before we go into a ceremony or a workshop…or life for that matter. When I started on the Fitness program I am on now it was with a really clear intent. My intent was to make myself stronger so I could do more in my spiritual path. I had read that if we are not physically fit, it hinders our spiritual growth because we are too tired to do the meditations, or focus on the discipline needed to move forward in our spiritual practice. So my intent was to get stronger and more fit so I could keep up with the physical demands of my spiritual path. I found I was tiring easier and would put off doing certain things because of this tiredness…even doing the healing work at times or the workshops was putting a strain on me. So on reading this I became determined to change that and put out to Spirit to help me find a way to get back into shape. I was very clear within myself that the fitness program was for me to be stronger to do the spiritual work I have come here to do. Then as I got to be about 7 or 8 weeks into the program, I found myself being influenced by outside people and things. People saying to me “do you have to eat that every day?”, “you are going to be growing feathers and clucking like a chicken soon”, “I couldn’t do that, I think you just need to follow your inner guidance, that’s what I do”, “how much weight have you lost”, “if you don’t know, how do you know it’s even working”, etc, etc, etc. I started questioning my diet and myself. I started focusing on the weight, did I look thinner, and when the answer didn’t come back from myself positive (does it ever?), I started giving up and “adjusting” the plan in little ways. It’s sneaky that mind of ours, the ways it tries to trick us into giving up when we challenge long held belief systems – about ourselves, about our safety, about who gives a crap. All of our “what difference does it make” comes up – what difference does it make if I lose weight, drop a clothes size, look better, feel better??? Who cares? Who else will care? Luckily I have a teacher who etherically is there to remind me…you are on that slippery slope again…watch your mind…you are the one who cares about you…God loves you…I love you…what’s your motivation here???!!! Hello anyone home in there??? Haha, what Derek, you talkin to me? Motivation? Oh, yeh, hmmm – let’s see…what was it? Oh yeh, my SPIRITUAL PATH! haha Right, get right on that, no problem! So in Satsang last night I shared that I had to re-find my motivation amidst the pile of other people’s crap that had been thrown on me, that I ALLOWED them to throw on me and I BROUGHT IN to myself and owned it as my own. I remembered finally my true intent, it is all about my spiritual path and getting stronger. What did I get this weekend? A kick your butt More Truth workshop from Derek and the Lads where people who came as first time students and were told they didn’t have to pay, insisted on paying because they had gotten so much from the workshop. A woman wanting a Rising Star session right now because she heard Derek’s free radio show on bullying, and an amazing Satsang with a group of be-a-u-ti-ful women! Plus the cafe was swamped on Thursday and I got to serve lots of food to lots of people, so much so I didn’t have time to eat!!! haha…thank you God! Isn’t it amazing what happens when we are clear about our intent in life? We are soooo supported by Spirit, by the Lads, by God, and of course Derek. So all you out there reading this, remember that your intent is everything. When you go into this ceremony called life, step into it with clarity every day, offer your day to God, to Creator, and keep your Eyes On Creator every minute of that day, not on the naysayers, or societies version of what they say you should be focusing on…the outer manifestation….focus instead on the inner manifestation, on loving yourself more, on what your heart is saying, on listening to your outer and your inner teacher, on the truth for you. Remember Intent is everything, set your intent, trust and surrender, let go and move forward from your heart. Many Blessings!
Love Love Love, Sandra Grey Wolf –
Go to: and – Transform your life!

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Animal Medicine for October 2012

I was doing this blog on the SQ Wellness site and am now doing it for my friends on Facebook. Animals have a lot to teach us, animal medicine is their gifts they have to give us to help us understand what issues we are working on today, or this month, or this year.  They help us to understand what energy we need to open up to the lessons being presented at this moment. An animal offers their gift of healing for the month so we know what will help us embrace more truth in our lives and in our hearts.

ANT came up for the month of October. Ant helps us work with the energy of PATIENCE…Ahhh…a very powerful teaching for one so little. If you have ever had ants invade your kitchen you will have had first hand experience with the patience it takes to help them find a better place to reside. We end up having to look at every little speck we leave behind to help them see we really don’t have anything worth their while. How does that translate in your life? ¬†We look at the big issues, what about the residue? ¬†Are all the surrounding issues looked at? ¬†Say your issue is abandonment by a parent…you have probably dealt with forgiveness of the parent, your own issues that have resulted from it, etc….have you looked at who you abandoned in your life including yourself, have you forgiven yourself for your abandonment of others and yourself, etc.? ¬†Ask your Higher Self to scout around inside your heart and see what may have been left behind that needs resolution.

Patience is definitely my lesson this lifetime. My teacher told me I was trying to “storm the gates of heaven” because I was so intent and serious in my spiritual practice, always asking…what can I do now? what more can I do? Isn’t there anything else I can be doing? (listen to discourse on Confidence by Derek O’Neill) ¬†Ant’s understand the value of patience, cooperation, teamwork and working for the good of the whole. ¬†It often takes patience with yourself and others to make this happen though, at work, at home, and in relationships. ¬†We have to be patient with people’s issues as well as our own…when will I ever get over making my first reaction anger? ¬†When will I quit giving my power away to bosses and co-workers? ¬†When will I stand up for myself? ¬†Every day is a new beginning, have patience with yourself and others as you find the confidence to speak what needs to be said in a nice but firm way. ¬†We may not always be obliging, but we can always speak obligingly.

One of the biggest areas for me is learning “what is yours will come to you” or “what God brings to you, won’t go past you”. It seems like I work and work and work only to take 3 steps forward and then 2 steps backward, again and again and again. Jeesh! I see and know what I want – then I realize that it’s a desire and I’m reaching for the fruit of my actions, grasping for the apple…out on a limb….to the point of….ahhhh falllllinnng! ¬†Back at the bottom of the tree I go…wonder if that’s why Buddha was sitting UNDER the tree…not at the top of it! haha Wonder if he had to deal with ants while under that tree. ¬†Ant reminds me to do everything I do as an act for Spirit, so offer it up and then let it go. ¬†It is my motivation for the act that matters, it is the energy with which I do the service that matters, and that is all in this very moment, the NOW, the Present, that’s why it’s a gift. One of the teachings from Derek talks about Concentration, Contemplation and Meditation being the way to become enlightened. They all happen in the NOW, not while we are thinking about what happened yesterday or what is going to happen tomorrow. The ant is small and so sees what is right in front of him, when you see them in lines its because they have heard the call…help needed ahead….food for the family ahead…and so they move patiently forward concentrating on each step they take, knowing that the goal is in reach as long as they just keep moving forward and keeping their eyes on Creator…not necessarily on the goal or the dream but on Creator because maybe Spirit wants him to take a detour, after all there are other food possibilities out there, other avenues to explore. We can, like ant, work together for the good of the whole yet at the same time listen to our hearts and to the still small voice that may call us at any time to change direction. If we aren’t in the NOW though, we won’t hear it, we will block it with fears of the past or projections of the future. So October is the month to walk with patience for yourself and others, do your work for the good of the whole, know that what is yours will come to you, put your fears aside and trust the process. Life is the process…enjoy every moment and really live your life right NOW!
Many Blessings on your journey,
Sandra Grey Wolf

Sandra is available for readings, consultations and questions at:

To hear more of Derek O’Neill’s teachings as described here, go to

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I told this to someone the other day JUST SHOW UP and the universed does the rest…and then I just realized that is my fitness program…I finally JUST SHOWED UP! My God how simple is that? It seemed like all the people I talked to were all afraid that they were not going to understand all the NLP stuff. Isn’t it interesting how sneaky our fears are? I was afraid of losing weight – why? Hmmm, would I have to face the reasons why I gained the weight, I mean the gut level truth of it, the soul-wrenching as they say core of the onion, probably. So maybe I was afraid of what that would look like, like maybe people aren’t judging me for the weight but for my “less than pleasing at times” personality, or try this one – men don’t come around because of the weight…or could it be I scare the hell out of them with my sharp-tongued whit and ability to turn most of them red in under a minute, or maybe it is that I would have to confront my fear of death – the rape brought up the fear of dying at the hands of a man, ah, then again maybe it’s to look at my “who gives a shit” attitude about others and what they think which really is only covering up a need to feel loved but I am rejecting before I am rejected, and on and on and on. Isn’t it endless the many levels of the fears we deal with on a daily basis? And as we were discussing here at lunch today, realizing that the more we realize the less places we have to go to hide…there are no hide outs, no cop outs, no addictions, no excuses, anymore that we can’t see for what they are…just that…hide outs, cop outs, addictions, and excuses…Victim escapes. We used to escape into our victimhood and recount how others were to blame and we were blameless… and then our great teacher taught us that “all perception is projection”…dang that guy, he took away all our hiding places with that one phrase which he then backs up with monumental amount of teachings and we have to once again paint the word “surrender” across our forehead. The basis of every lesson I have learned is Trust and Surrender, why did I think a fitness program was going to be any different? Haha…that is Spirit’s way of getting us to do what we don’t want to do but we need to do whether we want to or not…the Lads, Spirit, God, Creator knows we are never going to start the program, we are never going to SHOW UP if they don’t camoflage the truth in layers of “other reasons” for us to do something. Like Derek, when I asked that question on the radio about why I was procrastinating on exercise (this was before the fitness program), and he says “oh procrastination is just another word for laziness” KNOWING beyond knowing the workings of my simple mind and how being called lazy was a call to battle for me. Lazy???!!! How could my teacher call me LAZY???!!! Oh my God, well I’ll show him lazy…haha…he is having himself a good laugh about now…but then aren’t we his students a never ending source of entertainment for him??? haha…until we’re not and he has to go Shiva on us…ah sure, it’s all grand – as Linda would say. Yes, it is because once I showed up the way became easy, the path became filled with light, the burden shifted to Creator’s shoulders, and I stepped into a place of gratitude that I had a path to tread, a purpose to fulfill, a life to live. I became empowered and stepped out of the role of victim and into the path of the BE-er, so I could become the DO-er, so I could experience the HAVE-er. We used to talk in the seminar business about the concept of BE-DO-HAVE. I always questioned which came first but I know now you have to BE first. I had to accept the BE-ingness of who I was, an empowered woman. In order to step into the DO-ingness of recognizing that I can accomplish anything i set my mind to. So that I could accept the HAVE-ingness of what I deserved. My teacher helped me to see who I am by challenging me on what I was not….LAZY. I had to trust the love that the words came to me with though, because what I often have done with others in my life is say “what do they know, they’re full of it anyway” I can’t do that with Derek though because I realize I have finally come to the point of trusting him NOT to say anything that wasn’t from love and for my highest good. Since I could trust that then I had to look at what he was really saying and take it in and absorb the truth and then accept it as something I needed to look at further and dig deeper to find out about it. Is that giving my power away to someone? No, that is having someone whose opinion you value so much and trust so much is there to help you attain your highest potential that you listen to the words, really listen with “ears to hear”, and then dig deep and find the truth within you that is waiting there for you to uncover so that you can find the deeper truth beyond that which is “You are God, You are loved, all is possible and more than you ever realized you are capable of”. That’s the trust factor that was missing in my life until I started working with him, there are no hidden agenda’s…not on his part…only on mine…me finding the truth about my true motivations, whether it is why I have weight, or why I am on a spiritual path, or why I am angry, or why I am fearful. I still had to do the work, and face the truth about myself that I didn’t want to face…The Truth that will set me free. So Showing up is half the battle, the other half is trusting yourself to be willing to go the distance, dig deep, to find the truth…keep showing up in other words.
So am I still on the fitness plan…yes. Am I BE-ing first, then DO-ing & HAVE-ing…yes. Have I gotten to the core yet….probably not. Is it easy?…some days yes, some days no. That’s the SHOWING UP part…I am still showing up (pat myself on the back) ūüôā¬† Every day is another chance to show up in our lives, this day is mine…and tomorrow…and…

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Approaching Week 4 – Fitness: An amazing process

It’s been mostly ups on this process, I can’t say I have hit those real lows…not from the food or exercise program anyway, just the regular ones that plague me from time to time…called life I suppose. My walking has been good as given me by my teacher, and still continuing on with the weights from Gavin and the Five Tibetans from forever.¬† I have found the weights have given me the ability to do the five tibetans exercises better as they have strengthened my arms, so I am doing more of the tibetans and that helps because the tibetans help my hips and my back feel better and they give me energy.¬† So what I have added with the weights is adding another level to it all and it all fits together good.¬† I am really looking at how I feel about things and people and myself, I feel it is changing in that I am not focused outward but inward which is¬†a good thing for me to do.¬† People start saying things like you look thinner or whatever and I don’t find the need to say thank you, mostly because it’s not that important.¬† How I look is not as important as how I feel…how strong I feel, how focused I have become.¬† I feel I have always been focused on my spiritual path pretty strongly but the tiredness I was feeling would pull me off.¬† So now I understand why the sages stress keeping in good physical condition by eating right and exercising, it can be taxing doing the physical part of healing work or spiritual practices and if you physically aren’t up to it you will slow down your practice.¬† I feel sort of lost at times in my spiritual practice though, what should I be doing I’m not, what more could I be doing.¬† Also, I have realized in the past that I take on others energy and have been told that by my teacher.¬† The other day I got irritated at someone, now granted I was tired and I won’t go into details regarding the whole scenario but later someone mentioned to me my irritation and then I found out they were stressed and irritated themselves…all perception is projection.¬† I realized part of the irritation was theirs I was taking on…not all…but definitely part.¬† I am realizing more and more the need to use the “bubble” Derek has done a meditation on for letting my stuff be mine and others stuff be theirs…unfortunately I keep forgetting to do it!¬† More Ginko Biloba!¬† Or more Coconut Oil which helps¬†forgetfulness as I have found out recently.¬† I had to look at once again how when I am tired I do not hold my energy well, hopefully as I get stronger this will lessen, but the other part of it is I need to realize when I am in that place and watch myself more carefully – thoughts, words and deeds.¬† My mother used to say I had a “smart mouth”…funny thing is I got it from her…haha…but I have twice in the last two weeks realized it is over-running itself again.¬† So back to silence I go once again. I wonder when I will ever learn!¬† I am not going into all the things that spun my mind out these last 2 weeks since I have written, suffice to say I once again stepped into a place of not trusting…¬† I did a hypnotherapy session on this and found out it is linked with abandonment and has to do with someone, the only one, close to me.¬† So there you go…more learning and more to think about.¬† Have to go now will write soon.¬† Love Love Love¬† Sandra

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Amazing fitness update! Week 2

Amazing fitness update! Week 2.

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Amazing fitness update! Week 2

I believe actually working with someone in this way, even though I don’t see Gavin every day (that would be nice but not possible, darn!), is motivating and empowering all at the same time. Is it because I am actually taking the reigns back from who I gave my power away to so many years ago? If I am well that’s the empowering part of this program, I also realize though that, as we learned in the Bhagavad Gita teachings Derek O’Neill has given us, that Krishna or God or Creator or whatever term you use for the Higher Power in our lives really holds the reigns and guides the senses as we surrender and keep our Eyes On Creator. In this program for me that looks like letting go of attachment to the outcome, any outcome, yes I lost weight these two weeks more than I have on Weight Watchers or other programs I have followed in the past where the focus was on the weight, but my focus has not been on how much will I lose, or if I will lose at all. My focus has been on eating healthier, getting stronger, so I have more energy to do my spiritual work and my service work. So really my focus and what started me on this was my spiritual path and how I can be of more service in my life…so Eyes On Creator.¬† And amazingly enough the whole plan has been easy when I quit focusing on the pounds, or the inches, or the food for that matter! I am not hungry at all! I am not bored with the food choices, they are not important. I am not perfect either, I have no expectations in that regards whatsoever! The Lord AND Derek knows that’s not who I am at the moment. I have stuck to the program though and there have been times I wanted a piece of chocolate. Interestingly enough though on my “cheat meal”, I get one of those a week, I had a dark chocolate piece during a movie and had actually a couple more pieces sitting in front of me…it didn’t taste that good! How did that happen??? Why did that happen??? I am not sure, only God knows the answer to that question I’m sure. So I ended up having only one. Is it the attachment I had to having it, and not actually the taste of it? I have switched to this great Cherry tea a friend of mine is sharing with me, or a Himalayan tea, or our fresh from the garden Lavender tea or Mint tea we have here at Creacon. I feel nurtured longer sitting with a simple cup of tea, sipping as I watch a movie, or a decaf coffee after a meal, with some berries on the side for a little extra sweetness, than I did with a munch it down now chocolate cake. I am finding life simpler when my food choices become simpler too. I realized I had attachments to the chocolate, to the desserts, to whatever foods I thought were a must previously because they were a special treat or a fast food fantasy, and the attachments had nothing to do with the food and everything to do with the memories attached to the food. Chocolate cake is attached to birthdays and presents and parties, Pasta & Pizza to my little Italian grandma Lizzie I loved so much, Hamburgers to my fun times growing up and hanging out at McDonalds with my friends, etc. It’s not that I am not having this if I want it, it just doesn’t have the importance when I let go of the attachments surrounding it and just look at it for what it is…a blob on a plate. Haha, I realized that if you don’t have any attachments around the food, that’s what the food becomes…just a blob on a plate…a green blob, a brown blob, a red blob…it was a great realization! Not that I don’t enjoy my food I eat, I do and it’s good but it is there to keep me healthy, give me energy, nourish my cells, etc., it is not there to feed my attachments. I have to admit I had a physical energy loss last Wednesday, just zapped, it was an effort to walk from the Cottages to the Main House here at Creacon – those of you who have been here know that is not a long walk! So I called Gavin, now that in itself was a change right there, I could just have easily said I need food this isn’t working for me, but nope I called him, and of course he helped me sort it out by asking me gently, what was I eating, what was I doing, etc. which I answered truthfully, and he adjusted a few things for me and wa-la I felt great again and went merrily along! He knew exactly what I needed, of course he is very intuitve also which I am sure helps him in his work now and makes him a cutting edge above the others out there…gee I wonder where he inherited that from? Himself…he is definitely his own person, he did have great parents though, didn’t he? Anyway as I was saying, he helped me sort it out and I realized a great thing about food and my body and what I need and when it is me processing mentally and thinking I need something to eat¬†and when it is food my body actually needs. There are so many factors that zap our energy, or that can if we let them, food, people, places, etc, etc., sometimes my intuition sorted it out and sometimes I have been at a loss as to what happened . I now have another tool to use to sort it out with, I never really knew what worked for me energetically when it came to food and what didn’t…so now I am learning. The more I let go of the attachments around it, the more I can understand what is the best for me and my body, my health, my energy, my strength, me. So it has been an amazing two weeks and this fitness program is a true spiritual experience in alignment with and in integrity with who I am and with my spiritual path. Thank you Creator, I asked and you delivered…and thank you Derek for the teachings you have given me which helps me to sort it all out in a good way.

Many Blessings to you all!  Have a great week!  Love Love Love Sandra

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My new fitness program

Here at Creacon Retreat Center in New Ross, County Wexford, Ireland, we now officially have a new Fitness and Nutrition coach that comes weekly to show us a New Way! His name is Gavin O’Neill!¬† He is now a licensed counselor…thank the Lord! Not a moment too late because I was finally in a place to deal with my physical issues…the only one I have is the extra I gained weight 20+ years ago as the result of a rape. For some reason I resist letting go of it, although I did let go of 100 pounds in 2003 thru a program I put together myself utitlizing Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous and going to the gym 5-6 times a week, then I moved to Arizona and moved away from the programs at the same time. I was told once by a spiritual teacher that you have to address or work with things in your life on four levels – the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, balancing them all thru the Spiritual level. I realized recently that I have addressed the event that happened on all levels, and layers of those levels,¬†but not the physical which I seemed to have saved until last. Recently my teacher, mentor, and friend, Derek O’Neill from Dublin, Ireland, ( answered a question on one of his radio shows for me regarding my procrastination around exercising. Basically his answer was this…procrastination is another word for laziness (haha thank you Derek) and I can get out and walk 20 minutes a day now or after I experience a myo-something or other (I got what he meant)!¬†¬† Needless to say I took my teacher’s advice to heart and have walked every day since, it has been about 6 weeks since that phone question. I have been trying…trying being the optimal word here…to get the food under control…or figured out…or ? I cut down my meals to 1/2 portions, fasted one day a week, etc. – combining this with the walking helped some but I really wasn’t losing weight. I do the 5 Tibetans three times a week also but wanted to up that to 5 times,¬†which some weeks that happens and sometimes not, and therein lies the procrastination. So I appealed to my teacher, Derek,¬†and the Lads thru meditation to send me help in some form, and that’s when Gavin appeared on the scene…thank you Derek and the Lads for hearing my prayers. Of course, with every gift comes a challenge….as the saying goes¬†be careful what you ask for you just might get it, but does it stop me from asking??? No… somehow in my¬†mind what I pray for will just magically appear…or disappear in this case….haha give God a good laugh, tell him your plans.¬† So my meeting with Gavin went well, he is a very gentle soul when dealing with people and their requests. He questioned me on what I ate and snacked on, what I did for exercise, looked at my current weight, asked me what I wanted out of it all, then he put together a program for me. This was Tuesday of this week and since then I have been following the program. I set my intent that I was going to follow his instructions…intent runs the universe and is an integral part for the start of every ceremony…and everything in life is a ceremony. ¬†I find when I¬†set my intent¬†everything moves forward clearer and with more purpose. This is different than goal setting, it is an internal energy, or a consciousness if you will regarding something you want to take on or do.¬† I also decided to start a weekly blog – others I mentioned this to kind of went “o-o-o-kay”¬†as in¬†a “what if” response. Well, what if…. what if I screw up somehow, what if I give up, and what if the whole world knows I did with this blog and I can’t hack it.¬† So what?!¬† I have never let the possibility of not doing well enter my mind when I start something.¬† I remember when I worked in the seminar business as a facilitator and we did this exercise where you were supposed to go around the room and tell every person you came to “what I see great about you is___”.¬† I got to the president of the company who decided to participate in the exercise and she said to me “what’s great about you is you tenacity to go forward no matter how many obstacles are in your way”.¬† I looked at her confused and thought to myself, what obstacles?¬† What did she see were obstacles¬†in my way of becoming a facilitator, because I didn’t see any?¬† They interviewed 400 people for a training program they were accepting 20 into, and from those 20 only were picking two to be facilitator’s.¬† I was picked as one of the two when it was over.¬† I didn’t consider what if I don’t make instructor, what if everyone I tell about my dream thinks I’m crazy, what if I make an a__ out of myself,¬†why do I think I will¬†get picked out of 400 people, etc, etc.¬† I went for it and left the rest to God…kept my Eyes On Creator.

So here I am¬† five days into the program,¬†we eat family style here at Creacon and everyone else had pizza, milkshakes¬†and chocolate cake for dinner…my all time favorite meal.¬† I had grilled chicken, broccoli and kidney beans with a little cocoanut oil drizzled over it.¬† I didn’t cry and whine about it.¬† I have had my pizza’s and chocolate cake’s aplenty.¬† If I chose to have it tonight I could have as my “cheat” meal¬†for this¬†week.¬† I am deciding whether I want to have one of those cheat meals¬†every week, maybe I will and maybe I won’t, I will decide as it comes to me,¬† it will be a decision because it is a choice as everything is in life.¬† Feeling deprived is a choice and if I felt that way, it would be a victim attitude, or¬†I could look at as a¬†chance to look at my attachments to food.¬† I can use this program to examine my motivations around food, and look at what I¬†am really¬†feeling “deprived of”¬†when I crave something – am I looking for nurturing, or for love, or¬†to continue to feel that my only protection is weight, ¬†when in fact my only protection is Love…or I can choose to be a victim.¬† My desires and attachments steer me away from love, accepting love, giving love and loving myself.¬† I am on a spiritual path and have been taught by Derek to look at my desires and attachments because they are what will paralyze me on this path and keep me from the goal…the only worthy goal in life…merging with God…self-realization….enlightenment.¬† That is my real craving, God, all the rest are just substitutes along the way.¬† I have read in several spiritual books lately that it is important to be in good physical health because if you aren’t it gets in the way of your spiritual path, so it has bothered me lately that I find myself tired or feeling “creeky”, slow to get up, etc.¬† I found that this was keeping me from meditating well, doing healing work, etc.¬† So it was time, my time is now, where am I going, how am I getting there, what do I need to do to get there in a better way.

I will keep you updated on my progress as I go along.  Many Blessings!

Love Love Love

Sandra Grey Wolf

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