Where I am not…not what you’d expect

This blog came to me this morning at 4 am quite unexpected insights into one of the reasons we become addicted to substances…like food, alcohol, etc.  Derek talked about this in one of his discourses, about why we become an accountant, or lawyer, etc. and I actually didn’t think about it in regards to addictions.  I saw it in myself as an accountant and needing things to be fair in my life but I didn’t relate it to food issues or addictions as such, more along the lines of attachments or issues really.  So I am just going to copy an edited version of it here for you to ponder and see if any of it applies to your life.  I hope you have an interesting read…and oh, by the way, I am still losing weight, at least my clothes tell me so.  I have not blogged recently because I started to but it seemed I had a LOT to look at after the June workshop, so what I started didn’t get finished and this did:


In meditation I saw my family structure and belief systems around careers, which were held in high esteem and which were not.  Writing would not have been considered a “worthy” profession OR would secretary.  I saw all of this by seeing one of the reasons my uncle became an alcoholic was because of this mentality.  His brothers never saw being a Chef as a “worthy” profession in society but as menial work as they were both VP’s in important corporations, which in that day was important, and being a great chef as being menial.  Uncle Joe came here to teach me that and I didn’t see the lesson until just now.

Every person in my family was there to teach ME something and I see that every person in the family has gathered for that reason, as we teach each other we each create our learning scenario’s in this lifetime and become the teachers in some way for everyone else in the family structure, which IS the microcosm of the macrocosm.  Every person has their role to play and as they interact with everyone else in their family they become the teacher in some way for each person in the family structure, as they are taught by them.  This also spirals out to each person who appears in your life in any way, they are there for a specific purpose to teach you something and as you accept them and look for the lesson they are there to teach you, you learn.  And as you reject them and their lesson you reject the lesson and the learning that they are there for you for.  So Love All, Serve All is really about YOU as you love and accept all and serve and accept all the same, you are loving and serving yourself.  AS YOU OFFER IT TO GOD AS A GIFT YOU GET THE TRUE LESSON OF ONENESS AND THAT EACH PERSON IS A GIFT TO SERVE YOU, A GIFT FROM GOD.    So there are no lesser or greater beings, there are only teachers and students, who are both at the same time.

Thank you to my uncle and thank you Derek for showing me this.

On another note:

I had emailed a math person at Cal Tech to ask if he could uncover thru mathematics a core belief system in a person which if identified and dealt with would collapse all other belief systems.  I see now that to uncover that you would have to know how every person that is in a person’s life affects and affected them and that’s impossible to quantify because AS each person comes into our lives our belief systems are changed for the better or worse based on our relationship to them – that includes those who are permanent like family and those that are temporary like friends, co-workers and service people…and each encounter with them changes our beliefs.  So going back to Quantum Physics our physical reality and belief systems shift as we focus or encounter an object, person or even concept around us.  The “reality” of our lives shifts as we observe everything we come in contact with, AND the reality of who or what we come in contact with shifts as they come in contact with us.  WE and THEY are never the same after our contact because we will from that point on shift our belief systems to accommodate our perspective on reality.

As we realize things about ourselves, it shifts our perspective of how we view the reality of our lives.  So we can ONLY BECOME SELF REALIZED because no one could ever see life from OUR perspective – it is impossible.

That’s why we need a physical teacher who can see what we are dealing with on an intuitive or etheric and physical level because they play the role we need, to shift our perspective to another reality of how we view our life, so that we REALIZE another perspective OR TRUTH and not be stuck in our limiting beliefs but open ourselves to ALL POSSIBILITIES, and in doing so shift us out of limiting patterns of behavior based on prior learned belief, OR habits if you will, of a way of thinking about ourselves and others and our life.  We can then see others as teachers truly and understand that they are there to shift our habitual patterns and beliefs.

God designed a game so complex we can only grasp it as an INDIVIDUAL and not be able to scientifically quantify it as the pattern is too complex because each person is so different that no equation could take that level of complexity into consideration.  No two people ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERY PERSON  gets a different perspective on life based on EVERY PERSON and EVERY EXPERIENCE in THEIR LIFE every minute of their life.  This also shifts not only by those who come before us but by those who come AFTER us, as in THIS LIFETIME – grandchildren, etc. AND

We are actually living ALL lifetimes CONCURRENTLY NOT CONSECUTIVELY so we are constantly being challenged physically and  etherically on our belief systems as we live those lifetimes NOW – that’s where our random patterns of thoughts come from – BOTH from those lifetimes to this period of time, AND from those lifetimes we are living NOW in future periods of time.  That’s why Teachers like Derek can see PAST AND FUTURE lifetime- we are living them ALL RIGHT NOW.

Looking at decisions in my life that were pivotal, I can see why I chose them.  For instance, I could have went to UCLB, I passed the tests and was accepted, but that summer my parents told me I should major in business and I refused saying I wanted to major in the Arts – drama, singing, etc., and they said why should they waste their money in me going to college for that.  So I refused to go to college and then finally they relented at the end of the summer when they saw I was serious and said I could take anything, by that time I said I didn’t want to go, I was going to go to work instead.

I realize now I shifted my perspective on college by their opposing me and saying the Arts was NOT an acceptable profession but Business WAS acceptable.  At first I was looking at college as a grand exciting adventure where anything was possible, since I finally got out of the stifling environment of Catholic school, but college then became all about what others (my parents) found an acceptable career versus what I felt would be a freeing experience.  So because Business was acceptable to them, I went to work in accounting and married a rock musician, thereby killing two birds with one stone – acceptable to my parents in business, and defiant to them in personal life.  My personal life became who I was and my professional life became who they wanted me to be.  Only I never truly became WHO I WAS, I became WHO I WANTED TO BE THRU ANOTHER PERSON.

This whole writing is why being present and being observant in the moment is so important in our daily lives – because everything in our world that we see, hear, touch, taste and smell, OR in other words, OBSERVE in our daily lives, changes us in some way, and WE change it by our INTER-ACTION OR INNER-ACTION WITH IT.  OUR OUTER OR INNER RESPONSE to it IS our enlightenment process, our SELF-REALIZATION – each and every response.

ALL God wants is for us to keep our eyes on Him but how can we NOT if we recognize ALL as Him?

Derek, you said to me several years ago – “Where is God not?” – haha finally GOT it!

Love Love Love from Sandra Squires 8/21/2013

About Grey Wolf Healings

I am currently learning from a spiritual teacher, Derek O'Neill of Dublin Ireland (derekoneill.com). I do Earth Oracle Readings, Soul Retrievals, and I AM a Rising Star Teacher and Practitioner and a More Truth Will Set You Free workshop facilitator. For over 35 years I did ceremony and healing work in the Native American way, Navajo lineage. Based on their teachings, I put together The Earth Oracle, a divination system which uses the Medicine Wheel which works with the Earth energies, the animals, and the Native American teachings to help people understand themselves and their lives better. I also do Angel Readings & Healings and bring thru messages from the Angels and the Masters.
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1 Response to Where I am not…not what you’d expect

  1. Sile says:

    This is such an insightful piece and it really makes me wonder … Another layer .. Thank you!

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