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April animal message

Have you heard the saying ‘busy as a little beaver’? That is what April will be for us, we are now going to jump on those opportunities that were presented to us in March…or those lessons we got as opportunities to learn and to grow and to change…yes, change! Now is the time to start building for the future, for Beaver is the Builder. If you want to create a dam, you’ve got to start gnawing down the trees…right? So what will it take for you to get this new project in your life going? Spring is here and it is all about new beginnings…moving forward…finding a new way…putting new energy into what you are already doing. It takes work and effort to create what you want, to bring your dreams to reality. What is your first step? Take time every morning to envision the next step (be sure to get Derek’s discourse for April, he talks about this), make a list of what will create your future. If you find your mind heading the wrong way in all this, bring it back by replacing any negative thoughts with positive ones, or say a mantra. Use all the tools you have received in the teachings to move past the habits that have always stopped you in the past. Remind yourself what your motivation is, this will help you move past the old ways so you can build something new for yourself. Nothing stops beaver once he gets going and if someone comes along and destroys what he has built, does he give up? No, he just re-builds, finds another way or another place, moves the rocks over, churns up the mud a bit, and starts again. Did one way of advertising not work? Find another. Does the first chapter of your book not turn you on? Re-write, or throw it out and start again from another angle. Did one effort at holding a class not bring people? Does a beaver stop at one effort? Think not! Think again! Keep going…the busy beaver gets the best swimming hole! Our ego can be a tricky one, know that every perceived obstacle is an opportunity for growth and how you get past it is with Intention – Intent runs the Universe. Focus, focus, focus on your intent, like Beaver’s intent to build a dam, all his focus, all his energy, all his love goes into creating the dam, then he just starts and lets Spirit guide his hands and his steps. You can do it…remember what Yoda said – ‘not try, do’. And listen to Derek’s radio shows, he is giving us some really great teachings to make our dreams and wishes a reality!

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The GAME is called FEAR. And they other side of fear is love. The question is which side are you playing on? I have a teacher, Derek O’Neill of Dublin Ireland, and he did a talk in October 2021 at Creacon Wellness Retreat where he talked about this but in different terms. He said everything is God, even everything under a microscope. And that the word FAKE means Fear Attacking Kinetic Energy, and how humanity is helping those who put out Fake news and is helping them win the game by buying into FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real. We should be laughing at fake news but instead many are believing it. He said everything is God even the vaccine, and it is being used to instill fear…and in that fear, separation.

In meditation the other night I saw ALL sides of the Fear Game going on now. There is the fear in those opposing it because the fake news they believe has said the vaccine has all kinds of things in it to control us or kill us down the line, so fear based beliefs. And they continue to spread the fear the fake news has told them about its abilities. And then there are those having the vaccine out of fear of getting the virus, more fake news being spread down those lines as how true is that? Because there is fake news about how many deaths are being attributed to covid that are not covid deaths at all. More fake news and fake stats? Is it really protecting us, because people vaccined are getting covid as well. Then there are the those running the “conquer and divide” game, saying those that are not vaxed are not being considerate, and those that are vaxed should punish them for not being vaxed by controlling their freedom. Then there are those who say they don’t have any fear around it at all, like myself, so if I didn’t have fear, why not get the vaccine and be free of the freedom game? But are you really free even then, there is still an underlying fear there. I always said if I had to travel I would. Then I saw the game I was playing…wait and see game…will it go away, or will it imprison me? What is that but fear of loss of freedom, and maybe I will play the game or maybe I won’t have to deal with it, which is letting someone else decide my fate while I sit on the sidelines and watch because of what? I don’t want to be wrong? Fear of being wrong.

There are so many games being played at the same time but the underlying truth is the GAME IS FEAR. So what is the TRUTH? Who will win the game? The truth we ALL need to come to is simple, it is LOVE. Jesus said it, “I am in the world but not of it.” In other words we live in a 3D world, so we have to play the game. Sai Baba said “Face the devil and finish the game”. The devil is fear, the savior is Love. When we are in fear we have forgotten who the REAL controller of the game is, we have put our faith in the fake and not in the real. The only real is God, God is everything, God is only love, therefore everything IS LOVE…even the vaccine.

WE create the vaccine going into our body being LOVE or FEAR. We can do that, we have that power. You see no one has power over our body, mind and spirit but us, unless we give it to them. Whether we have the vaccine or not, we control what goes into our body. Sages have shown that by ingesting poisons and it doesn’t affect them in the least. Why? They control how it affects them. We have this ability as well, and in Derek’s talk he gives us the solution – if you choose to be vaccinated, chant the name of God and the MRNA will change under those conditions. Whether you take the vaccine or not, that is a personal choice. If you have service to do in the world to help people, you may be faced with that choice in order to fly or do the work you have come to do. Service to man is service to God. Service IS love.

This is not a new game, this game of control has been played over and over again in societies for eons of time, the Ancient Teachers called it Technology. It is still called that today. And the only winners were those that applied the teachings of Love. The ancient law is “As within, so without” and “As above, so below”. Love within creates love without. God above creates all below. The good, the bad and the ugly. When we see everything as love, we believe in God over man’s creation, and we “live in the world but not of it”. It does not affect us unless we believe it will. Our only task is to find our own truth in this, and it is this truth that will set us free. Love conquers fear, choose love.

(Excerpts from talk by Derek O’Neill at Creacon Wellness Retreat in Co.Wexford, Ireland- Oct.2021 – presented by Sandra Grey Wolf)

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I was watching a documentary on TV today and they were talking about one of the predicted signs of the times is the rebuilding of the temple which apparently is in the early stages of happening today…literally in progress.

I see the rebuilding of the temple not as an outer happening but as an inner one.  We are the Temple of God.  Our very Soul is the Temple of God, on a personal and a collective level.  The Consciousness of the world today is a collective representation of every persons individual consciousness in the world today.

If you believe that we are ONE consciousness, that we are all ONE, then how could we be, as a whole, any less than a collective representation of the consciousness of the planet.  We are individualizations of God in human form and collectively we represent the God consciousness on the planet today.  There is no separation of people’s, religions, races, human types, there is only one consciousness displaying itself as an energetic representation of God.

So playing the blame game of: this country is wrong, that religion is persecuted, the next door neighbor is living incorrectly, will never bring our consciousness to a higher level.  Nor will it bring us as individuals to a higher consciousness, a better, more forgiving, more loving, more caring, version of ourselves.  If we can’t do it on an individual level, we will not bring our world to a Higher Consciousness in alignment with God.

The way to bring us to that Higher Consciousness is, we need to rebuild our inner temple of the most High.  We need to rebuild our temple to God within us.  We do this with one another’s help.  We can’t do it alone.  The reason we can’t is because we depend on the mirrors in our world to reflect back to us what we are doing, how we are acting, how we are representing God if you will, so we can see the distortions in the image we have of ourselves and how we are representing the truth of God.

Every reflection not representing the Five Human Values of Love, Truth, Peace, Right Action, and Non-Violence, is a place we need to correct.  We distort the Truth of God when we have a reflection in our lives that doesn’t live up to one of those values.  Those values are the way to live God’s Reflection in our lives.  Every person reflects that back to us.  So rebuilding the Temple of God within us is looking deeply within to how and where we are not living one of those values.

Every religion, every faith, every spiritual path, that we pursue is good and they are all one.  Every one of them teaches exactly this same message.  They teach it with different words, ceremonies, services, ways of praying and worshiping, yet if you look deeply into each path and what they are saying, you will see the common thread, the common denominator, that they are teaching their constituents…rebuild the Temple within you that houses who God is for you.

God comes with many names, and in many forms, yet God is ONE.  There is no my God, or your God, or their God, there is only OUR GOD.  Call it what you will, I call it Spirit as that name transcends the language barriers we have constructed in our minds around what God is, what God looks like, what God worships like, who God belongs to, what God does in the name of God, how God needs to be represented, or prayed to, or worshiped, or loved for that matter.

We have been brought up with this distorted picture of what God is and what God does, based on the religion or spiritual path we were raised in.  Or, conversely, how we were raised regarding the belief or non-belief around God in our family and/or upbringing.  We may  have been brought up to believe God doesn’t exist because it can’t be seen, heard or touched.  We may  have been brought up to believe that God is a judgmental being that lives in a far away place called heaven, and he looks down on us and sees us as sinners, or lacking in some way, so there is something wrong with us from the get go.

Many religions preached this, and so in the name of God we were found wanting, less than, something to be ashamed of, lacking in our ability to be loved or to love anyone including ourselves.  This is the greatest wrong in the world which has caused the greatest harm to the world and everyone in it, and brought us to where we are today, a world in chaos and out of balance physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

We have built many temples, churches, synagogues, etc. where people gather to learn about God which is good, it is good to come together to learn about God.  But so that we can understand who we are as individuals and what reflection of God we are presenting to the world.  Have I built a Temple to the Most High, or am I distorting the image of God to the world, and so not living a Higher Consciousness?

We build our Temple brick by brick and the cornerstone and the foundation of our Temple is Love.  When we can love every single person, place, thing or experience in our lives as the greatest gift God has to offer us, then we are building our Temple on a firm foundation.  We are worshiping in a Temple dedicated to the most High God that moves thru us.  We then would be in alignment with the Five Human Values of Love, Truth, Peace, Right Conduct and Non-Violence.  Because every person we meet, every action we take, every word we speak, every feeling we have is a brick in our Inner Temple to God.

When every individual’s Temple is built within on the cornerstone of Love, then we will CREATE the Higher Consciousness we need to establish a world of peace.  This IS an attainable goal, although to many it may seem as if it is a pipe dream to get every person to look at themselves, to build a new Temple based on Love.  But what we have to understand is a concept called “The Hundredth Monkey” affect.  A book was written about this many years ago.  To summarize it: there was a study done by scientists about monkeys living on an island by themselves, and what they had to eat were potatoes that they dug from the earth.  One day one of the monkeys decided to wash their potatoes before eating them.  Other monkeys saw them doing this and decided to try it themselves, and more and more monkeys each day decided to do it until it reached what they called the hundredth monkey effect where at one point enough of the monkeys were doing it that overnight they all started doing it and it became the norm for everyone to do it from then on.  The interesting thing scientists observed though was that although this island was isolated, and the monkeys didn’t travel to other islands, they observed that monkeys on other islands began doing it also.  And at some point, when it reached the hundredth monkey effect, every monkey in the world was doing it.  In other words the World Consciousness changed based on when a certain percentage of them were doing it, the consciousness shifted and it became the norm worldwide.

This is how the consciousness of the world can be shifted to a Higher place.  We see this happen with events that have had an affect on the world, like 9/11.  The world consciousness shifted on terrorism.  This is why every person, representing every grain of sand on the beach, is important.  It could be your grain of sand that shifts the consciousness of the world today as you rebuild your temple.  You could be the 100th Monkey.  This is why you make a difference.

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Where I am not…not what you’d expect

This blog came to me this morning at 4 am quite unexpected insights into one of the reasons we become addicted to substances…like food, alcohol, etc.  Derek talked about this in one of his discourses, about why we become an accountant, or lawyer, etc. and I actually didn’t think about it in regards to addictions.  I saw it in myself as an accountant and needing things to be fair in my life but I didn’t relate it to food issues or addictions as such, more along the lines of attachments or issues really.  So I am just going to copy an edited version of it here for you to ponder and see if any of it applies to your life.  I hope you have an interesting read…and oh, by the way, I am still losing weight, at least my clothes tell me so.  I have not blogged recently because I started to but it seemed I had a LOT to look at after the June workshop, so what I started didn’t get finished and this did:


In meditation I saw my family structure and belief systems around careers, which were held in high esteem and which were not.  Writing would not have been considered a “worthy” profession OR would secretary.  I saw all of this by seeing one of the reasons my uncle became an alcoholic was because of this mentality.  His brothers never saw being a Chef as a “worthy” profession in society but as menial work as they were both VP’s in important corporations, which in that day was important, and being a great chef as being menial.  Uncle Joe came here to teach me that and I didn’t see the lesson until just now.

Every person in my family was there to teach ME something and I see that every person in the family has gathered for that reason, as we teach each other we each create our learning scenario’s in this lifetime and become the teachers in some way for everyone else in the family structure, which IS the microcosm of the macrocosm.  Every person has their role to play and as they interact with everyone else in their family they become the teacher in some way for each person in the family structure, as they are taught by them.  This also spirals out to each person who appears in your life in any way, they are there for a specific purpose to teach you something and as you accept them and look for the lesson they are there to teach you, you learn.  And as you reject them and their lesson you reject the lesson and the learning that they are there for you for.  So Love All, Serve All is really about YOU as you love and accept all and serve and accept all the same, you are loving and serving yourself.  AS YOU OFFER IT TO GOD AS A GIFT YOU GET THE TRUE LESSON OF ONENESS AND THAT EACH PERSON IS A GIFT TO SERVE YOU, A GIFT FROM GOD.    So there are no lesser or greater beings, there are only teachers and students, who are both at the same time.

Thank you to my uncle and thank you Derek for showing me this.

On another note:

I had emailed a math person at Cal Tech to ask if he could uncover thru mathematics a core belief system in a person which if identified and dealt with would collapse all other belief systems.  I see now that to uncover that you would have to know how every person that is in a person’s life affects and affected them and that’s impossible to quantify because AS each person comes into our lives our belief systems are changed for the better or worse based on our relationship to them – that includes those who are permanent like family and those that are temporary like friends, co-workers and service people…and each encounter with them changes our beliefs.  So going back to Quantum Physics our physical reality and belief systems shift as we focus or encounter an object, person or even concept around us.  The “reality” of our lives shifts as we observe everything we come in contact with, AND the reality of who or what we come in contact with shifts as they come in contact with us.  WE and THEY are never the same after our contact because we will from that point on shift our belief systems to accommodate our perspective on reality.

As we realize things about ourselves, it shifts our perspective of how we view the reality of our lives.  So we can ONLY BECOME SELF REALIZED because no one could ever see life from OUR perspective – it is impossible.

That’s why we need a physical teacher who can see what we are dealing with on an intuitive or etheric and physical level because they play the role we need, to shift our perspective to another reality of how we view our life, so that we REALIZE another perspective OR TRUTH and not be stuck in our limiting beliefs but open ourselves to ALL POSSIBILITIES, and in doing so shift us out of limiting patterns of behavior based on prior learned belief, OR habits if you will, of a way of thinking about ourselves and others and our life.  We can then see others as teachers truly and understand that they are there to shift our habitual patterns and beliefs.

God designed a game so complex we can only grasp it as an INDIVIDUAL and not be able to scientifically quantify it as the pattern is too complex because each person is so different that no equation could take that level of complexity into consideration.  No two people ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERY PERSON  gets a different perspective on life based on EVERY PERSON and EVERY EXPERIENCE in THEIR LIFE every minute of their life.  This also shifts not only by those who come before us but by those who come AFTER us, as in THIS LIFETIME – grandchildren, etc. AND

We are actually living ALL lifetimes CONCURRENTLY NOT CONSECUTIVELY so we are constantly being challenged physically and  etherically on our belief systems as we live those lifetimes NOW – that’s where our random patterns of thoughts come from – BOTH from those lifetimes to this period of time, AND from those lifetimes we are living NOW in future periods of time.  That’s why Teachers like Derek can see PAST AND FUTURE lifetime- we are living them ALL RIGHT NOW.

Looking at decisions in my life that were pivotal, I can see why I chose them.  For instance, I could have went to UCLB, I passed the tests and was accepted, but that summer my parents told me I should major in business and I refused saying I wanted to major in the Arts – drama, singing, etc., and they said why should they waste their money in me going to college for that.  So I refused to go to college and then finally they relented at the end of the summer when they saw I was serious and said I could take anything, by that time I said I didn’t want to go, I was going to go to work instead.

I realize now I shifted my perspective on college by their opposing me and saying the Arts was NOT an acceptable profession but Business WAS acceptable.  At first I was looking at college as a grand exciting adventure where anything was possible, since I finally got out of the stifling environment of Catholic school, but college then became all about what others (my parents) found an acceptable career versus what I felt would be a freeing experience.  So because Business was acceptable to them, I went to work in accounting and married a rock musician, thereby killing two birds with one stone – acceptable to my parents in business, and defiant to them in personal life.  My personal life became who I was and my professional life became who they wanted me to be.  Only I never truly became WHO I WAS, I became WHO I WANTED TO BE THRU ANOTHER PERSON.

This whole writing is why being present and being observant in the moment is so important in our daily lives – because everything in our world that we see, hear, touch, taste and smell, OR in other words, OBSERVE in our daily lives, changes us in some way, and WE change it by our INTER-ACTION OR INNER-ACTION WITH IT.  OUR OUTER OR INNER RESPONSE to it IS our enlightenment process, our SELF-REALIZATION – each and every response.

ALL God wants is for us to keep our eyes on Him but how can we NOT if we recognize ALL as Him?

Derek, you said to me several years ago – “Where is God not?” – haha finally GOT it!

Love Love Love from Sandra Squires 8/21/2013

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Healing is all about God calling us home

Healings come in all forms – physical, mental, emotional & spiritual – but they are all about the same thing, coming home to God.  Not the God you thought you were coming home to though, not a spiritual experience of some kind, a feeling, a touch, a whisper in our ear.  We think that is how it looks, feels like, shows up in our lives.  It is none of that, or maybe sometimes it is.  At times though it is an emptiness, a void, a black hole, that we fall into, and it swallows us up and we disappear. The person we know, or thought we knew by our name, simply disappears, and we are no longer who we thought we were and it doesn’t matter.  Every person will experience it differently as no two people’s life, experiences and lessons are the same.  We might start out experiencing it as a lesson to be learned and then it evolves and evolves and evolves until we no longer know whether we are the experiencer or the observer of the process.  The only way to survive is to flow with the feelings that come, allow them to be what they are, accept them for what they were and will be, and know it doesn’t really matter where you are, it only matters where you will be.  Sounds very esoteric doesn’t it?  Like a sci-fi movie, or one of those “artsy” movies that no one really gets except the person who wrote it, because no one really can because we are not them and they are having their own experience writing it.  

We all basically want to go home to God if we are on a spiritual path at all, at least we think we do, until the shit hits the fan and we are in the midst of the “void of no return” where everything we know and love is gone and we are standing there naked and alone going hmmm, did anyone get the license number of that lorry that just crashed thru my life?  Our next question is supposed to be – wonder what’s going to happen next?  Except we have been struck dumb and have just fallen into a black hole and haven’t a flippin’ clue what just happened, or how to get out, or if we even want to get out!  Aaaah well, we couldn’t if we tried cuz God put us in there so only God can catch us when we hit bottom, if He/She wants to…maybe not…guess that’s where the basis of all spiritual lessons comes in to play…Trust and Surrender.

It’s just another bottom, we say as we crawl back out and start over once again.  We think, did I have to go there?  Maybe yes, maybe no.  I am in a fitness program and I find a “bottom” every now and again.  I am reading a Sai Baba book called “With Love Man Is God”, and I got to this place in the book, and I quote “He (Sai) says that food determines the shape of the mind, and the mind is the key to transformation.  Food determines what we become and is of three qualities: sathwic-purity,calm, rajasic- anger, greed, feverish activity, and thamasic-sloth, dullness.  The quality of the food determines the qualities in our personalities and minds.  Swami says that even if we go on pilgrimages, and read sacred books, and engage in spiritual exercises, we will not experience desirable effects unless we change the food we are eating.”  Whoaaaa, you mean all this meditating, reading, going to workshops, more meditating, looking at my projections and what I’ve created and changing my patterns,  ALL THIS doesn’t matter at all once I hit that drive thru window at In and Out Burger????  Crappola, how many lifetimes did I blow on that cheeseburger?…of course if I was eating In and Out Burgers which I haven’t been Gavin so don’t blow a gasket!!!  I do have a cheat meal once a week though and I have had some “thamasic” foods probably, most likely, alright yes I did but was still on program thank you very much!  Not Sai’s program obviously….geeesh…this path gets tougher all the time!  haha

So as this post is entitled, “healing is all about God calling us home” – I realized I have been going thru a physical calling this last year with my food program, and I thought Gavin set up the program for me but it obviously came from Sai Baba now that I read this book.  I took a crash dive this afternoon and realized it was after I ate.  I got tired, depressed, angry, overwhelmed, yada, yada, and I now realize it was very likely the food.  Although it was on program, it was spicy and I felt over-full, was it the spices or was it the energy with which I ate it, or the cooks who prepared it, or…..  Blessing the food is important which I normally do but got caught up in a distraction and didn’t do it today…so God called me home.  I realize now that God has been calling me home all my life in one aspect of my life or another – divorce, lost companies, careers caput, weight gain, abuse, etc.

On a daily basis, in the now, there are many ways God calls me home:  I have found that offering my day to God in the morning is important, sometimes I get distracted on my morning walk and forget…until God calls me home.  Keeping my thoughts positive on the future, on my life, in my service is vital and I know it, sometimes I am not paying attention…until God calls me home.  What does getting called home look and feel like?  Anger, depression, sadness, re-experiencing hurt over words that were said to me by others, by my teacher, pain of the past, fears of the future, all of the above and more – the shit hitting the fan, the fall into oblivion, the not caring of where it all ends up or where I do…all is God calling me home.  Sometimes I just fall into the pit of avoidance called bed or a movie or a non-spiritual book, or I wallow in victimhood for a bit, after i have had my “wallow” I actually do something useful like taking a walk, or doing service work which really works to re-focus me.  I actually think at times “wallowing” is good because I am allowing myself to experience the experience, I am accepting the darkness instead of avoiding it or beating myself up for wallowing.  God lets me do this…wallow…then in all His infinite goodness He calls me home by giving me a little nudge off the bed, the phone rings, or I have to go to the bathroom, etc.  And finally I am ready to start again, so I read the Surrender Prayer and turn it all over…again…and move on…doing the best I can with what I have right now…and know beyond a shadow of a doubt everything in my life is really just all about God calling me home.  

Many Blessings!

Love Love Love

Sandra Grey Wolf


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MASTERMIND REALLY WORKS – Look at Creacon from November to today!!!

Since we posted this blog about Masterminding together to see more people at Creacon Wellness Center have you noticed the changes that have happened at Creacon?  Expanding the food service and the dining room and cafe services, more people there and at times overflowing its capacity there were so many, more exciting classes, more people coming for Rising Star healings, massages, etc, etc.  

Mastermind works folks!  It will work in your life and when we all work together by Creacon seeing your picture of expansion and abundance in whatever you are asking for, and you seeing Creacon’s picture of expansion and overflow capacity every week!

There are so many of us it is not possible to hold a weekly meeting at one time where we can hold a formal Mastermind meeting with those at Creacon.  If we all follow the easy steps I will list here, we can all hold the picture for Creacon and each other and of course our teacher, Derek, to expand and grow into “Unlimited Vision” – that means beyond what we can see for ourselves from our limited capacity, and into the realm of what only God can see for us which is Unlimited Vision of ALL possibilities!!!

Here are the steps:

1) pick a time that will work for you EVERY DAY to spend a few minutes or more where you can be quiet and visualize the goals I will list at the end of this blog.

2) connect with God within, our Higher Self, and see and feel your heart as it expands like in Derek’s Mustard Seed Meditation, filled with GOLD LIGHT and Love Love Love for all.

3) picture the goals for yourself, what your dream is for you, Derek expanding more into the world and being known the world over, and the goals for Creacon that I list below, and send the gold light from your heart space out to them into a picture of them having ALREADY REALIZED this dream, as if it has happened already.  See those rays going out to the picture you see for Derek, Creacon, and for all the people participating in this Creacon Mastermind Connection, and for yourself also of course.

4) thank Spirit / God / Creator for bringing Creacon, everyone and you for this or something greater manifesting in your life NOW.

5) Bring the gold light back into your heart and send love to yourself as one with Creator, and as one in love and light with all.

That’s the whole visualization, it can take as little as a few minutes or longer if you choose, it is up to you.  You might incorporate it even into your regular daily meditation time so it becomes a habit.

For Creacon see many people coming to the Center and attending Derek’s discourses, attending the More Truth classes on Saturdays, meeting friends there for lunch and early dinners and Sunday carvery, booking the rooms so they always have guests in residence and long term retreat participants, filled with happy people going home healed, rested and at peace in their hearts.  Also, while you are at it, see many people really stepping up in their spiritual paths and attending the JUNE WORKSHOP!!!  Yay!

You can go on the Creacon Wellness Center website and send your intention in to them so it enters the vortex of manifestation and love that only Creacon is, as only Derek can set up!  This will also help Creacon’s website status also, so it is a win-win for both of you.

Start today and continue on…ESPECIALLY if you want to manifest yourself being in the JUNE WORKSHOP…it is coming up real soon and with Derek teaching Meditation and going to New Grange, it will be an ENLIGHTENING TIME for all!!!

Love Love Love to all!!!


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Our attachments keep us attached to who we no longer are

I face challenges to my fitness program every day and other challenges to my personal peace, and realize once again it is all about my attachments. We listen to Derek talking about non-attachment, we read about it in every spiritual book, we think we have moved past them in so many ways…and we do make progress….then we get tested. Somehow the universe says “you think so?”  What if I take this away, and this, and this, and this, and next thing you know you are sitting there with nothing left and twiddling your thumbs going “well this sucks”, or not. Food programs can be like that, or health issues, or jobs we had, or money in the bank, one day there and next day gone…and don’t even think about the relationships that have ended in an instant…a holy instant, as they say in the Course In Miracles. Yes, one day you are eating whatever you want, being the couch potato, working 12 hours a day, making more money in a day than some people make in a year, having lots of money in stocks, or thinking we have a relationship that will be with us for the rest of our lives. We are thinking we have it made in the shade. I have experienced all of the above and have been shown over and over again in my life how it is SO not true. It all comes down to we weren’t paying attention. No, we weren’t paying attention to the only truth we need to be paying attention to…God within us. We become so focused on losing weight, doing a great job, making money, making love, enjoying the fruits, that we forget where all that comes from…so we get reminded.  As we’ve been taught, when we don’t have the outer any longer we turn to God, which is what He wants us to do, and say what happened, why did you desert me, what did I do wrong, where are you? Right where He/She always was, you just quit paying attention, or enough attention, or attention in the right way…so you get called home once again to be reminded of who you truly are and where your loyalty truly lies. We rebel when this happens, we go into denial and anger and all those steps we take to justify our position, our life, who we are, what we created – because we ARE the only ones creating our life, you have realized that I am sure if you’ve been with Derek a while. And then once again we realize the Truth, we have again become attached to our attachments, our comfort zone, who we have always been, what we have always ate, how we have always operated, the belief systems we thought we were past that tend to run our life when we are not looking, and we have once again forgot what we are really here for…to attach only to God.  Our attachments only keep us attached to who we no longer are, who we no longer want to be.  BUT, of course, they are OUR attachments after all – we created them, we enjoy them, and we wonder how we can live without them in our lives.  What  will replace our attachments?  Who are we without our attachments?  Is life worth living without our attachments?  And, again, what’s wrong exactly with being attached to our partners, our food, our job, our kids, our life?  We argue for our limitations, we argue for our attachments, we argue for our old life back…and then we finally stop arguing and step back and look at our attachments…and ourselves…and God…and say hmmm…I lost the point of my life, I lost my true motivation, I lost my spiritual path, I lost myself, I lost my joy.  No matter what I was doing and how hard I was working at it, and the fact I was doing it for all the right reasons, I was once again doing it in entirely the wrong way because I was attached to what I was doing, attached to the outcome, attached to the pleasure and the pain, just plain old attached.  We think we can walk away from it…until it’s gone…then we realize our attachment kept us attached to who we no longer are, or want to be.  We have left that person behind, it is really time to move on to something new, but it took a good swift kick in the butt by God to make us realize it.  THAT’S TRUE GRACE!  We think the Grace of God is going to come like a big giant ice cream cone in our favorite flavor…haha…God’s Grace comes in many forms, that’s why we need to embrace everything that comes to us on our spiritual path…the happy and the sad, the good and the bad, the pleasure and the pain, the ice cream and the brussel sprouts.  It is all the same, it is given to us so we can move forward on our spiritual path, so get over it and get on with it.  How do we know when it is time to move forward in our work, and in our lives, and in our spiritual path?  When it all leaves and we are sitting there on the road without a dime or a clue, when the only thing in the refrigerator is ice cream and it’s not on our food program, when our husband says I’m bored and I’m out of here…that’s when we need to paste a silly smile on our sorry puss like The Fool in the tarot deck and say I love this road…wonder where it’s going? …as we step off the cliff remember to say Thank You G-o-o-o-o-o-d!  (spells like good doesn’t it?) on the way to your next road.  Happy landing, and by the way, keep your eyes on Creator and He may just catch you right before you land…that’s where hope and faith and love come in….many blessings on your journey!  Oh, by the way, I am still on my fitness program, a bit revised, more relaxed with it, still moving forward, and still letting go of the weight of the past…thank the Lord…and Gavin!!!

Love Love Love

Grey Wolf / SandRa      email me at:  eyesoncreator@gmail.com

If  you aren’t acquainted with Derek O’Neill, go to http://www.derekoneill.com and download some of his amazing teachings!

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Learn a new flow, ride the waves!

Here I am in the US for a bit and let me tell you that it can be a challenge to stay focused when travelling. It seems I am a creature of habit which is another form of attachment…to routine! You know when you are at home you go to bed and get up at a certain time, shower, have coffee or tea, exercise, meditate, eat, and work. Some things throw you off at times but it is a rather “set”, in some ways, schedule. Then we travel and encounter airplane waiting areas, limited food choices, no place to exercise, people around all the time, transportation challenges, etc, etc, etc. – wow, I did not know I was such a creature of habit. I am learning to adapt and find the rythm of life by going within and asking what’s next? Where do I go from here? How do I get there? Adapt, adapt, and adapt some more, is all I can say. It is the art of flowing with the current of life, flowing with the river not trying to paddle up river. Change happens and we are sometimes caught in cross-currents, dashed about, can’t come up for air, looking for a limb to hang on to, and finding none start to panic – where is God, will I survive, what will life look like now, why am I here, how did I get here, what do I do now? Over and over we question while grasping for a hand, a smile, a kind word, sometimes finding none…so what then? We let go and let God do with us as He will. I am not sure I have reached that point yet, the point of letting go. I am in the whirlpool of the cross currents and when we are there we are still struggling to comprehend how we got there, and in the struggle we become tired, and in the tiredness we question what life is really about, and while questioning we sink below the surface, a victim to the water, the currents, and life really. How do we pull ourselves out of the whirlpool? WE don’t really, only God can do that, and that is based on our FAITH that God is there for us, really there for us, not just the nice words we say in our head – God loves me, I am a child of God, I am God, yada yada. This is the place we question the deepest truths in our heart. This is the place where we HOPE that “hope springs eternal”. This is the place where love lives, the love we search for, hope for, dream about, wonder if it exists at all. We ask does God really care? Does He really notice every sparrow that falls from the sky? He’s got a big job he does, lots of people to take care of, and you know I haven’t always been the best worker in the God department. This is where the Grace of God is supposed to kick in. And as we are sinking we are thinking, hmmm, I wonder what my God score is at now…am I in the plus or minus category? Haha…did I use all my God points on last week’s snafu I got myself into? So we reach for the tree branch, look for a hand to grab on to, if there is none that is probably for the best as that means we have to let go and put it all in God’s Hands. We have to TRUST AND SURRENDER…there’s those words again, the same answer comes up in every situation I am given. It seems there is no other answer, every time I question I come up with the same answer. Do you know how flippin’ tiring that is???

So here I am on this fitness program, flopping around like a fish out of water, exercise-flip, food-flop, 5 tibetans-flip/flop, weights-sink, every day a new start. Isn’t that what life is though and every challenge we meet? Every minute is a new start, every challenge a new beginning, every situation a new whirlpool, just God giving us the experiences we need to become enlightened. When we have a set routine, that’s when He really goes to work and makes the BIG waves, the Hawaii 50 foot waves, and says here ride this for a while, are you having fun yet? If not, why not? Haven’t I given you all you need to ride the wave? The practice, the time, the teachings, the tools, the love, did you sleep through all that? Again? Look for the joy in your life, look for me, I’m right here right now, I’m the current that keeps pushing you to the top when you sink too far down, I’m the breathe you take when you surface occasionally, I am always there you just have to let go and trust that I am…that’s your JOY, my I AM is your I AM. Just let go and trust me. Yes, I see the Light shining thru the water, I know it’s there, I know you are there….just…why? Oh yeh, forgot, your standard answer, “Why not?”  So at some point we let go, surrender and trust we will get rescued, we will live for another day….actually the truth is, we will live until the next wave…  My advice, build a surfboard, because the only way out is to rise above the wave, ride it to shore and step off the wheel, then you get to help everyone else…haha, just a bigger wave to ride!  Enjoy the ride!  Safe Journey!

Many Blessings!

Love Love Love

Sandra Grey Wolf  –  eyesoncreator@gmail.com

For surf lessons go to:  www.DerekONeill.com

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Gavin told me “no excuses”….Get ready New Yorkers, he’s on his way!

Forewarned is forarmed…as the saying goes. Gavin is going to New York and will gently motivate you as he kicks your butt into high gear. I lived the Spirit of Christmas in December…including being lazy with my exercise and eating a few chocolates. I wouldn’t say I gained any weight but I could tell my body was missing the exercise. So I happened to mention to Gavinsky that I was really busy with work lately and missed a few exercise times…haha, he said “that’s just an excuse”. I had two options, get off my duff and get back in gear, or forward all my emails to Gavin for a week…haha, just kidding, option 2 wouldn’t have worked he would have just sent them back! Just like he sent back my comment about work being an excuse. I thought it was a GOOD excuse, we all use it in one form or the other…oh, I’m so busy, I have to take the kids to soccer,  I have a new project at work, etc., yada, yada, yada. The truth that will set you free…and put you back on the path of your exercise program is…you won’t be doing any of that without your health. You have to put you as number one, so that you can help everyone else. The old airplane video…put your oxygen mask on first so you can help the child next to you. I can’t do my healing work if I am not strong enough to handle the energy. We have work to do, we have service to perform, we have people to help, we have a world to save…don’t we? It is not just about us…but it starts with us. Every spiritual book I read about teachers working with students talks about how they instruct their students to make physical fitness a priority…and discipline the biggest priority of all. If we are disciplined, we will keep on the Spiritual path, doing the meditation, reading the books, watching our thoughts, and exercising and keeping our bodies in good health.

I have to make a major point here about the exercise program that I have worked at since I have started coming to Creacon in 2007…the 5 Tibetans. I cannot tell you how important those exercises are for keeping me fit, giving me energy, reducing pain in my body, opening my heart and balancing all my chakras. If you really want to get serious about staying energetically fit, these exercises, which are the only ones Derek has introduced to Creacon, are the most amazing exercises for keeping you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fit. Walking, lifting weights, yoga, and all the rest are good, I do those and each one serves a purpose and works together with the food program Gavin gave me to help me get fit and feel better, but I also swear by the Tibetans. I have asked Jonathan to do a video of him doing the Tibetans just like he does at Creacon, so we could all follow along every day and do them with the video when he’s not around. Wouldn’t you all like that? I think it’s a great idea!!! Write or email him at Creacon and get him to do one, and what a great way for us to support Creacon at the same time!

I do a combination of exercises – Derek told me to walk 20 minutes a day, Gavin added 6 simple weight exercises with barbells, I do the Tibetans with Jonathan  here 3 times a week and I add a day or two more of the Tibetans every week for myself. Consider it a Fitness Program for not only your physical health but for your spiritual health. Sometimes the spiritual path is uphill…at least mine feels like it at times, maybe you don’t have that experience…and if I am tired and feeling sluggish it just makes the whole process that much harder to handle. I process thru things much quicker when I feel better physically, I didn’t realize this until I became physically fitter than I was for years. When I was tired and overweight and feeling like I was dragging along, the last thing I wanted to do was deal with my issues too! So I vegged out…at the movies, wandering around a bookstore, browsing thru Home Depot for gosh sakes when I dont’ know a screwdriver from a gizmo maker, going out to breakfast/lunch/dinner with friends, reading fiction…avoiding and procrastinating because when I was tired, exercising was the last thing on my mind.  I was too tired to do something that would make me less tired! It was a Catch 22, like a mouse on a treadmill, round and round I go…in circles…haha…just got it Derek!!! Only took me 2 years – sorry private joke…you know your teacher gives you those seemingly innocent, benign comments and two years later the light bulb finally comes on over your head! Geesh…if that isn’t a reason to exercise I don’t know what is!!!

So I did not start out to push you to exercise but my blog ends up being like my More Truth Will Set You Free workshops…I am not the doer, no agenda, let Spirit guide my hands, and here you go. Well as Derek once told me after the first More Truth I did in our training class…”you did the workshop, now play the music”. So hit the button on your Ipod, CD player…put on something that tells your body it has to move…and DANCE…best form of exercise God ever invented.  I think I will start a “Move your body, move your life” class at Creacon and just put on some great rock music in the meditation hall,  or I maybe I should call it “Merlin meets Elvis” – more like Merlin KNOWS Elvis, since he’s on that side not this one….or is he?  And for gosh sakes while you’re at it, get out there and have some fun!  I remember a quote from a book an Aborigine elder once said “I feel sorry for those people who have never stood naked in the rain” – It is great to do, very freeing…I tried it once in LA and actually didn’t get arrested…haha, another story for another time!

Enjoy your life, be happy, and remember what Gavin said “NO EXCUSES”! He will be in New York on February 1st you lucky people, if you haven’t had a hug from Gavin you haven’t lived (well next to Derek that is) – so write his email address and make an appointment, it is the best thing you will ever do for yourself, your life starts NOW:


I asked him which email address was good for health questions and this is the one!  By the way I have lost about 45+ pounds and LOTS of inches, I am needing a new wardrobe…I keep telling Gavin its his fault so he better give over his Amex card, I’m in the mood to shop!

Many Blessings and Much Love!
Grey Wolf / Sandra

For more information about a great teacher named Derek O’Neill, and especially to get registered for his upcoming NY workshop on February 17th, 2013 –  go to: http://www.derekoneill.com

If you would like to know more about Rising Star healings, email me at: eyesoncreator@gmail.com

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BEing the Spirit of Christmas in your life

Derek talks about making every day Christmas…what does that mean exactly, what does that look like in our lives?  In the past I have looked at Christmas as a challenging time for a food program, when I was in Weight Watchers they talked about this a lot, so that eating during the holidays became a bag of tricks – as in: take YOUR food with you to Christmas dinners, substitute diet 7-up for a wine spritzer, measure your portions by making a fist, yada, yada.  So much focus was put on denial and tricking your mind into thinking you weren’t denying yourself.  I now see the negative underlying thought process that went on in this…and I thought I was a positive thinker then…oh, lordy!  I was told and kept telling myself that I was doing this for me but I really just wanted to be that size 10 again and get the compliments from people, be noticed, be approved of, etc.  And when that came, as it did, I always wondered why it didn’t feel as good as I wanted it to, why I still felt empty, like it didn’t fill me up.  I see now it was all about…I was all about…others approval, people would love me if I looked a certain way.  I wanted to be loved and other people were where I thought, where I was told, love came from, outside of myself.  Derek helped me to see that love comes only from within, from loving yourself, approving of yourself, accepting yourself as you are right now, not in the future when you’ve reached some goal.  It is the journey, not the destination.  Of course, because I know it and work with it doesn’t mean I have mastered it…yet…wouldn’t that be nice?

I understood before that all love comes from within, but I didn’t have a physical teacher that helped me to understand that I am responsible for loving myself, and for thinking loving thoughts about myself, and how to bring love for myself into my heart fully so I really felt it.  I had heard the words before: we create our reality, thoughts are things, to think is to create…and I thought this was all about manifesting outer things, not inner.  Derek talks about how the battle used to be on the outside, now it is on the inside.  So BEing the Spirit of Christmas is living it every moment of our lives.  We are either BEing love or we are not.  We are either BEing happy or we are not.  We are either BEing truth, or we are not.  Every choice is a choice for loving ourselves or not loving ourselves.  Is eating that piece of chocolate loving yourself?  Sometimes it is, and sometimes it is not.  For myself, what I looked at is, am I eating it with desire or attachment…because it is chocolate, or it is forbidden fruit, or it is a parents reward for “good” behavior, or it is acceptable food at a function, etc., or am I eating it because I am loving myself by having it.  Am I buying into an old belief system, or creating a new reality of love for myself.  Recently I saw my different attachments to food, not only as to whether it was on the food program or not, but even to the way my chicken was cooked…haha, funny isn’t it?  And yet on the other hand, I had no attachment to a truffle I was offered, and found it interesting to eat a food that I always thought was a treat and bad for me, then eat it without any attachment to those concepts, and just experience the taste alone.  I have found myself thinking more about what I am putting in my mouth and why I am putting it there, than the actual food itself. I find myself choosing food, which has always had family-love-guilt- pleasure-reward-nurturing attached to it, and then eating it without attaching anything to it.  I really began to see what I ate with love, and what I ate wanting love from others.

BEing the Spirit of Christmas is really about BEing the love that’s in your heart and sharing that love with others with no thought of return. That’s the Spirit of Christmas, the true spirit of Christmas, that’s what Christ was about, he loved himself so much and recognized he was God that he then could share that love with the world so they would then know they were God too.  BEing the Spirit of Christmas is loving yourself, in your life, every minute of every day.  A lot to live up to?  Yes, of course, if life wasn’t a challenge what fun would it be?  Judgement goes when truth flows, the truth of recognizing who you are and loving you with all of your, as Derek calls them, “bobbily and wobbily bits”, and knowing that is not the truth of who you are, the truth lies in the love in your heart.  So don’t tell yourself not to eat this or that this Christmas, instead ask yourself why you are eating it, and are you loving you more in the process.  Give yourself the gift of love thru food, not with it.  Know sometimes you will make choices based on love and sometimes you will make choices based on old belief systems, the great thing about this is that there is no failure, only feedback, every choice brings us feedback and insights into where we are at and why we are there, and between the where and the why is how we recognize who or what is running our life…and making those choices.

Enjoy a Merry Christmas, and my wish for you is that all your dreams come true this beautiful New Year.  Please join Derek and all of us at Creacon in his Winter Solstice meditation on December 21st as we usher in the new reality of love and the new age of a world filled with love and peace..

A New Year blessing for YOU:

May the blessings of God be upon you, May His peace abide with you, May Her presence illuminate your heart, Now and forever more.  Shanti, shanti, shanti.

Peace be with you.  Many Blessings!

Love Love Love

Sandra Grey Wolf     http://www.PremaAmrtha.com

Please visit http://www.derekoneill.com to find out more about Derek O’Neill of Dublin, Ireland

Please visit http://www.SQ-Wellness.com to learn about the Rising Star Healing modality and More Truth Will Set You Free workshops

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