It’s been mostly ups on this process, I can’t say I have hit those real lows…not from the food or exercise program anyway, just the regular ones that plague me from time to time…called life I suppose. My walking has been good as given me by my teacher, and still continuing on with the weights from Gavin and the Five Tibetans from forever. I have found the weights have given me the ability to do the five tibetans exercises better as they have strengthened my arms, so I am doing more of the tibetans and that helps because the tibetans help my hips and my back feel better and they give me energy. So what I have added with the weights is adding another level to it all and it all fits together good. I am really looking at how I feel about things and people and myself, I feel it is changing in that I am not focused outward but inward which is a good thing for me to do. People start saying things like you look thinner or whatever and I don’t find the need to say thank you, mostly because it’s not that important. How I look is not as important as how I feel…how strong I feel, how focused I have become. I feel I have always been focused on my spiritual path pretty strongly but the tiredness I was feeling would pull me off. So now I understand why the sages stress keeping in good physical condition by eating right and exercising, it can be taxing doing the physical part of healing work or spiritual practices and if you physically aren’t up to it you will slow down your practice. I feel sort of lost at times in my spiritual practice though, what should I be doing I’m not, what more could I be doing. Also, I have realized in the past that I take on others energy and have been told that by my teacher. The other day I got irritated at someone, now granted I was tired and I won’t go into details regarding the whole scenario but later someone mentioned to me my irritation and then I found out they were stressed and irritated themselves…all perception is projection. I realized part of the irritation was theirs I was taking on…not all…but definitely part. I am realizing more and more the need to use the “bubble” Derek has done a meditation on for letting my stuff be mine and others stuff be theirs…unfortunately I keep forgetting to do it! More Ginko Biloba! Or more Coconut Oil which helps forgetfulness as I have found out recently. I had to look at once again how when I am tired I do not hold my energy well, hopefully as I get stronger this will lessen, but the other part of it is I need to realize when I am in that place and watch myself more carefully – thoughts, words and deeds. My mother used to say I had a “smart mouth”…funny thing is I got it from her…haha…but I have twice in the last two weeks realized it is over-running itself again. So back to silence I go once again. I wonder when I will ever learn! I am not going into all the things that spun my mind out these last 2 weeks since I have written, suffice to say I once again stepped into a place of not trusting… I did a hypnotherapy session on this and found out it is linked with abandonment and has to do with someone, the only one, close to me. So there you go…more learning and more to think about. Have to go now will write soon. Love Love Love Sandra
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