Here at Creacon Retreat Center in New Ross, County Wexford, Ireland, we now officially have a new Fitness and Nutrition coach that comes weekly to show us a New Way! His name is Gavin O’Neill! He is now a licensed counselor…thank the Lord! Not a moment too late because I was finally in a place to deal with my physical issues…the only one I have is the extra I gained weight 20+ years ago as the result of a rape. For some reason I resist letting go of it, although I did let go of 100 pounds in 2003 thru a program I put together myself utitlizing Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous and going to the gym 5-6 times a week, then I moved to Arizona and moved away from the programs at the same time. I was told once by a spiritual teacher that you have to address or work with things in your life on four levels – the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, balancing them all thru the Spiritual level. I realized recently that I have addressed the event that happened on all levels, and layers of those levels, but not the physical which I seemed to have saved until last. Recently my teacher, mentor, and friend, Derek O’Neill from Dublin, Ireland, (www.derekoneill.com) answered a question on one of his radio shows for me regarding my procrastination around exercising. Basically his answer was this…procrastination is another word for laziness (haha thank you Derek) and I can get out and walk 20 minutes a day now or after I experience a myo-something or other (I got what he meant)! Needless to say I took my teacher’s advice to heart and have walked every day since, it has been about 6 weeks since that phone question. I have been trying…trying being the optimal word here…to get the food under control…or figured out…or ? I cut down my meals to 1/2 portions, fasted one day a week, etc. – combining this with the walking helped some but I really wasn’t losing weight. I do the 5 Tibetans three times a week also but wanted to up that to 5 times, which some weeks that happens and sometimes not, and therein lies the procrastination. So I appealed to my teacher, Derek, and the Lads thru meditation to send me help in some form, and that’s when Gavin appeared on the scene…thank you Derek and the Lads for hearing my prayers. Of course, with every gift comes a challenge….as the saying goes be careful what you ask for you just might get it, but does it stop me from asking??? No… somehow in my mind what I pray for will just magically appear…or disappear in this case….haha give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. So my meeting with Gavin went well, he is a very gentle soul when dealing with people and their requests. He questioned me on what I ate and snacked on, what I did for exercise, looked at my current weight, asked me what I wanted out of it all, then he put together a program for me. This was Tuesday of this week and since then I have been following the program. I set my intent that I was going to follow his instructions…intent runs the universe and is an integral part for the start of every ceremony…and everything in life is a ceremony. I find when I set my intent everything moves forward clearer and with more purpose. This is different than goal setting, it is an internal energy, or a consciousness if you will regarding something you want to take on or do. I also decided to start a weekly blog – others I mentioned this to kind of went “o-o-o-kay” as in a “what if” response. Well, what if…. what if I screw up somehow, what if I give up, and what if the whole world knows I did with this blog and I can’t hack it. So what?! I have never let the possibility of not doing well enter my mind when I start something. I remember when I worked in the seminar business as a facilitator and we did this exercise where you were supposed to go around the room and tell every person you came to “what I see great about you is___”. I got to the president of the company who decided to participate in the exercise and she said to me “what’s great about you is you tenacity to go forward no matter how many obstacles are in your way”. I looked at her confused and thought to myself, what obstacles? What did she see were obstacles in my way of becoming a facilitator, because I didn’t see any? They interviewed 400 people for a training program they were accepting 20 into, and from those 20 only were picking two to be facilitator’s. I was picked as one of the two when it was over. I didn’t consider what if I don’t make instructor, what if everyone I tell about my dream thinks I’m crazy, what if I make an a__ out of myself, why do I think I will get picked out of 400 people, etc, etc. I went for it and left the rest to God…kept my Eyes On Creator.
So here I am five days into the program, we eat family style here at Creacon and everyone else had pizza, milkshakes and chocolate cake for dinner…my all time favorite meal. I had grilled chicken, broccoli and kidney beans with a little cocoanut oil drizzled over it. I didn’t cry and whine about it. I have had my pizza’s and chocolate cake’s aplenty. If I chose to have it tonight I could have as my “cheat” meal for this week. I am deciding whether I want to have one of those cheat meals every week, maybe I will and maybe I won’t, I will decide as it comes to me, it will be a decision because it is a choice as everything is in life. Feeling deprived is a choice and if I felt that way, it would be a victim attitude, or I could look at as a chance to look at my attachments to food. I can use this program to examine my motivations around food, and look at what I am really feeling “deprived of” when I crave something – am I looking for nurturing, or for love, or to continue to feel that my only protection is weight, when in fact my only protection is Love…or I can choose to be a victim. My desires and attachments steer me away from love, accepting love, giving love and loving myself. I am on a spiritual path and have been taught by Derek to look at my desires and attachments because they are what will paralyze me on this path and keep me from the goal…the only worthy goal in life…merging with God…self-realization….enlightenment. That is my real craving, God, all the rest are just substitutes along the way. I have read in several spiritual books lately that it is important to be in good physical health because if you aren’t it gets in the way of your spiritual path, so it has bothered me lately that I find myself tired or feeling “creeky”, slow to get up, etc. I found that this was keeping me from meditating well, doing healing work, etc. So it was time, my time is now, where am I going, how am I getting there, what do I need to do to get there in a better way.
I will keep you updated on my progress as I go along. Many Blessings!
Love Love Love
Sandra Grey Wolf